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- Describe a time when you have been flattered by a person or group of people. What were the circumstances and how did you react? What were the intentions of the group (if any) and how did you know. Then, be sure to indicate how you think flattery cna be either a positive influence on a person OR a negative one. Use your own experience to back it up. Be sure to respond to a classmate.
- Describe a time when you ignored the advice of others to do something your way. What happened? What would have happened if you had followed the advice given? Indicate if you think standing by your own wishes can be either positive or negative. Explain why using your own experience and then be sure to respond to your peers.
50 comments:
Flattery can get a person everywhere and nowhere, all at the same time (if that makes any sense at all!). Most people use flattery to gain something. Sometimes, flattery can make a person feel comfortable. Telling someone they are such a good friend makes them feel like they are. Truly giving someone a compliment, especially when you don’t have to, means the most to both parties. Then, when everyone feels good, doing things for each other is not a big deal. So, when you tell them your darkest secrets, they are more likely to keep them because you trust they are a good friend. So, making someone feel special allows them to trust you and most likely do more for you.
My students will be nice to be, especially when they didn’t do their homework or are failing. The mentality seems to be that “If I am nice, the teacher will boost my grade or not be such a hard grader on my essay.” But, we can see right through that! Flattery in times of need is so obvious that people can see the insincere motives. But, flattery when it is genuine really can make a person feel good about themselves and everyone wins in the end!
I think flattery is usually used to cover up some of your past mistakes. Many people flatter others because it is a way to ease their conscience. They feel that it can hide all of the mean things that they did to one another. For example i remember one time when somebody i knew was wearing this jacket and people started to talk about the person. They were actually talking about how ugly the jacket was but they figured out the person was listening so they started to compliment the girl and say how nice it was. They only did this to save themselves from the true fact that they were being rude. I also agree with Ms. G when she says that people use flattery to kiss up to others. When people want something they usually try to impress and compliment the person so they will accept them.
Im pretty sure almost everyone has complimented someone just to be nice when in reality what they complimented the person on was not worthy of praise. People just use flattery as an excuse to be nice or to make somebody feel better about themselves. Even if what they say isnt true, many people will more often than not compliment somebody because they feel bad for the person. Also as Ms. G says compliments and flattery do get you far in life because by kissing up to someone they can give you more opportunities than if you never bothered to associate with them. SECTION:B
I think that flattery is a way to be nice to someone by telling them something good about themselves. I know that people like being flattered because then they feel more comfortable and confident. I remember on the first day of seventh grade when a group of girls came up to me and said that they thought my eyes were very pretty. It boosted my confidence a little and it was a way for me to feel a little more comfortable on my first day of school. So complimenting someone can really make someone feel better about themselves.
I agree with Ms. G when she says that flattery can make a person feel good about themselves. It has a positive effect on them because it makes them feel better. Everyone deserves to have something good said about them. I think that usually when someone flatters someone else then they are being honest and really do think that the person is worthy of that compliment. Flattering can be a kind gesture of friendship or can just be a way to show the person that you like their outfit, etc. Either way, it is a nice way to show someone that they are deserving of a compliment. So I think that flattery has a psitive effect and is a good way of being nice to someone. The end.
Section B
I think flattery is when someone is being nice and is showing a kind gesture to someone else. Many people flatter others when they either compliment people or are trying to be nice to others. When people receive a compliment when they flatter others, they feel happy and can feel good about themselves for the rest of the day. I know I do when that happens to me. I remember that a few days after New Years this year I was wearing a new outfit and I straightened my hair. A lot of my friends came up to me and complimented on what I was wearing and loved my hair straightened, and told me to straighten it more often. I was really happy when they told me that and it made me feel good about myself. I also started straightening my hair more and people kept complimenting it every time.
I agree with Marisa when she said that flattery is a way to be nice to another and that people like being flattered. I think it has a positive effect on people and they feel good about themselves when they are flattered. It also shows that people care about the other person and like making them feel good. I don’t really agree with what Leah said even though she gave good reasons in what she said. In all, I think that flattery is a positive influence and people like getting those types of compliments.
Section: B
I agree with Vanessa when she says that flattery can cause people to feel good.It's basically human nature to feel happy after someone tells you something good about yourself. However, I do disagree with her reasons for flattery. I think people can have good and bad intentions when they flatter people. Sometimes you can be looking out for a friend. Sometimes when you flatter a person it can be from the heart and express how you truly feel. Other times people can flatter people just to get what they want. Maybe you want something from someone, so you kind of kiss up to them and give them false compliments just to get them to give you what you want. People's motives for flattery can depend on their true personality. If you are a giving person then of course you probably flatter people because you really feel what you are saying. Sometimes if I do something good or I wear an especially cute outfit and I receive compliments I can usually tell when they are real. If someone compliments me, then two seconds later asks me for something I can usually tell what their motives were from the beginning. I agree with Leah B. when she says sometimes people talk about someone behind their back, then compliment and flatter them just to cover up their true ways. It's sad when you see something like this because it makes you wonder why people can be so rude. Flattery is just something that can play out two ways. It's one of those things that you assume its good then maybe you figure out it's not good afterward.You just have to know the person to know whether they have good or bad intentions.You need to basically be a good judge of character. Flattery is very powerful and this is why it can be used in very opposite ways. I know that when I compliment someone its very genuine, and I can only hope when people compliment me it's the same.
SECTION:B
I agree with Leah because sometimes people will cover up for their mistakes by saying something nice. If you use flattery in that way it will get you no where in life but if you are sincere in your compliment or flattery you may get more opportunities in life.
Some people go fishing for flattery from other people. One time this girl at my old school would always expect a rush of compliments after a presentation or on her outfit on a dress-down day. If no one said anything about her she would say “Do you like my outfit?” or “Wasn’t my presentation the best.” She would say these things and expect the other girls to give her a compliment. I think this is a negative impact of flattery because sometimes people will not say a compliment about someone and then all sorts of drama would start.
Whenever I get a compliment I subconsciously say “Really?” because I do not think that what ever they were complimenting should be complimented on. I always feel special when I get a compliment. It sort of gives me a boost of confidence. That is the good part about flattery if it is a true, well deserved compliment it can give people more confidence.
Section B
One time I was going to go out to a party, but my mother and my sister insisted that I stay in the house that weekend. There had been a shooting at a party the weekend before. But I chose not to take the situation seriously and I went to the party anyways. When I got there, it seemed ok. Then yelling broke out between 2 groups and then fighting. All I could do was grab my friend and run. Luckily we were one of the first ones out of there. The fighting turned into a gang fight, which resulted in a shooting not long after I left. I honestly think I made it home that night just by luck. My mother always tells me a bullet has no name so be careful. If I didn’t go then I think I would have been better off and safer. Sometimes its good to be open minded under any circumstances because you never know what could happen. It’s not always good to think your right when your not, even against the word of your parents. I wonder at times if that could have been me. It would be easier to see why my mother or sister didn’t want me to go to that party. Now I listen to others and I take what’s being said into consideration. Even when things won’t always be what I want to hear I will always know it’s for the better of my safety. A lot of times people feel like what they do is right because it’s going they’re way. But that can be dangerous when you least expect it. Overlooking advice makes you less wise than the person who told it to you. It seems to real to be real until your put in the actual predicament.
Flattery is praising someone for something they did or said. It can have a positive affect on the person. I have been flattered many times and I appreciate it. I have been praised by my friends and especially my family. They praise me when I usually get good grades in school. This helps me get motivated more to do even better. Flattering someone has a positive effects on that person because it may help them to continue what their doing.
I have been flattered many times when I got in BLA. My parents know it’s a tough school and I try to do my best. When I get good grades on test, quizzes, reports my parents praise my work. This helps me to do even better. I get motivated by this and I really need it. Using flattery is also a good way of making friends. If you are nice to someone then they will be nice to you. All the friends I have, I have praised either by a first impression or by recent things they’ve done. It’s nice because you also feel good about yourself when you praise someone. When I’m flattered about my academic work I feel more confident about myself.
I agree with Marisa, Vanessa, and Dheandra. When you get flattered by someone it makes you feel more confident about yourself. When you praise others you also feel better about yourself inside. This means your not only being a good person but acting like a true friend. Flattery can have a positive affect on a person. In my case, I was struggling a little bit in BLA on my first term. When I received good grades and praises by my friends and family my confidence level Increased exponentially. I got motivated and was able to do better in terms 2-3 so far. Flattery can help a person with confidence and make new friends.
Their has been many times when i've taken the highway option to
peoples warnings. My thinking always comes down to, its my way or the
highway. I think its always good to listen to other people when they
advize you to do something , but i always think that its good to put in
your opinion and let people also know your thoughts on any situation. An
example of when i ignored somebodys advise and did something my way was
when i wanted to go out one days with some of my friends to eat in
downtown. Well these friends are not exactly the best influences in the
world but their good company. My mom somehow knows that these people are
not a good example so she told me to stay home that day and that i
shouldnt go out with them. I started talking to her about it saying that
she never lets me out and she doesnt trust me and that they were my
friends and i really wanted to hang out with them. She let me go in the
end and i was happy but shortly after my friends started smoking and
wanted to go to this party they heard about and thought i should go. I
thought about all that my mom said and told them no it could be
dangerous and i didnt want to risk getting caught or being forced to do
anything. I take this occasion as a good way of reminding me how things
could be. Although i took my way and went out with my friends. The first
chance i saw of a bad thing occuring i ran out of their just like
josette did. Sometimes what mothers say dont always come to par with
what your thinking. But we also have to remember that our parents do
know what we are going through now a days and even though what we think
doesnt seem to matter. What they feel is best for us is ALWAYS best for
us. Just like josie said sometimes it IS good to be open minded about
things. Listening to others can never hurt you
sec B
I agree with Mrs. Gentile, flaterry can be a double edge knife. It could help you or it could destroy you. People with good intentions use flaterry to make other feel better about themself. To achive in anything you need to have confidence, and flattery help you get it. It a type of encouragement to some of us. But, flattery con also use for self gain, perfect example is in government system in some country. Doesn't matter if past or present, people generally abuse flattery to get their position. They do not use flattery just for important position in society, it could be for money, job, even friend. If you flatter someone alot, they trust you, like what Ms.Gentile say, and depend on you, it make you feel important and at the same time, make the person you flatter feel important to you. To me it really hard to know if someone do it because they are nice, or just use you. Life like a stage, and people have many faces, but in the end, flattery is good or bad depend on what your motive is and what you get out of it.
Flattery is a form of compliment that is given to a person. People always have a different reaction to the comment that is made for them. Today when I was walking home, I saw a couple of my friends on the way. They began to make comments about how much they liked my tank top, and it made me feel happy, mainly because no one else has it. I personally don't take compliments well, and have a very shy reaction to them. I think on certain people, flattery could be a good thing. It can boost a person’s confidence and make them feel good about themselves. On the other hand, it can make them very obnoxious and snobby if they receive too much "credit".
Going back to what I have already said, I completely and fully agree with Vanessa B. Flattery makes a person feel better about themselves for whatever the reason may be. People put on an act to convince people that what they want is absolutely necessary, better grades, money, clothes, etc. I also do have to say that whomever it may be that searches for flattery is very insecure and doesn’t have much self confidence. If a person is just truly being honest about their opinions, it can always brighten your day (:
I kind of disagree with everyone who says flattery is a way of being kind. When I think of flattery, I associate it with insincerity. It is more of a way of buttering people up, as oppossed to complimenting, which is the sincere way of showing kindness. Yes, people say they love to be flattered, but wouldn't it be more right to say that they love being complimented? In my opinion, flattery is totally different from complimenting. Flattery comes with a motive, while complimenting is truely believing in what you say to the person.
I used to be flattered in elementary school. I wasn't much popular and I knew that for a fact. And it so happened that on days where I bring in something cool like Yu-Gi-Oh cards or Beyblades (it was in 5th grade!), people would come up and go "hey Danny! How are you? I'm your best friend right?" and next thing I knew I was by myself again while the flatterers were playing with my cool stuff!
Section E
I agree with Danny. I think people use flattery if they want some thing from you or if they what you to think they are nice and that they actually like you. I think flattery would be a negative influence on a person because that person might take the flattery to far and think too much of it.
People would try to flatter me all the time in elementary school. At the end they would always want me to do some thing for them. When I was in second grade I was really popular and me and my friends had our own little “group”. We were the ones everyone wanted to be around. So all the time people would come up to me and try to flatter me or one of my friends just so that they could be a part of our group. The would say things like “you’re my best friend” “your so pretty” and “you guys are cool”. I never really paid attention to them but one of my friends thought she was the best person on earth because some of the things that were said to her. This is an example why flattery has a negative influence on people.
Section E
I,m stuck in a difficult situation. See, my aunts and uncles are constantly telling me I should take up modeling. Whenever I see them we have the same conversation: "Hey Sue,you look so beautiful and you just keep getting taller. Why don't you model? I mean you have no reason why you shouldn't". And every time I tell them the same thing. I'm only fifteen, sure it would be cool if I were a model, but I'm just trying to focus on school now. It seems like I'm letting them down when I say no, but it's just something I don't see myself doing.
But then again, like Josie said< it's good to keep an open mind. What if I do do modeling and I become very successful, I would owe it all to my aunts and uncles. But then I could end up hating it. I guess I just need more time to think about it. Maybe I'll consider it when I'm older and finished with school. Then if I do become a big shot model I'll never turn down a suggestion; I'll be sure to keep an open mind about everything and don't worry I won't forget the little people.
section:E
Flattery is just one of those things that you can never be sure about. You never know if it's for their own personal gain or because they actually feel that way. One example is when you go to a job interview you aren't going to say "Hey are you the man that may hire me...cool you smell funny and your breath stinks...oh nice picture on your desk is that you baby daughter...how old is she...oh 6 months...whew she is hideous...she takes after your wife." It's common sense that you should make them feel better about themselves so that you seem to be a good person whether you mean it or not.
A time i was flattered was when I actually started to do work in one of my classes. They said oh Gerald you're wicked smart you should do the work more often you actually do know this stuff.
To build on what Vanessa said yes of course people enjoy getting compliments. But there are many times when people are saying just to say it. There is no actual praise in it at all. This is only sometimes though because there are a lot of times when people truly do mean it. You just have to judge whether or not they really do mean it or not.
[Section: B]
I agree with sarah,danny, and janise. Flattery is used in many different ways and has many definitions. People will try to flatter someone maybe because they want something that person has. When i was in elementarty school i wasn't the prettiest, skinniest, or most popular girl in school. i had my friends and that was it. When i reached 5th and 6th grade people would come up to me and tell me how pretty i got, or how different i looked, or wat great friends i had. They were really only doing ths to get a ride from me or to be in with me and my friends. The flattery didn't get to me but it got to my friends and that broke us apart. Flattery can make a person feel good, but it isn't the best thing either.
I agree with Danny, that flattery is different from complimenting. Flattery is most likely used to get something in return. "hey you look so beautiful today, wanna drive me to the mall?" While complimenting somone could just be to make that person feel good, or to be nice. Sure if you try to kiss up to someone it could work out in the end, but will it be worth it, and in the end are they reall your friend?
Section E
There's a Haitian saying that says,” When kids don't listen to their elders, something always happens around them or to them". It always annoys me at times when my parents tell me this and they turn out to be right. I think at times their right and at other times it’s just a phony saying, but not like today.
To my surprise it happened to me today. This morning I woke up and thought they weather was "ok" and put on my light jacket on with a head. But my grandmother always tells me to leave my umbrella in my back-pack or leave it at my locker but I never do unless when I'm leaving the house its really raining. So this morning I left without my umbrella, not listening to my grandma, better yet I didn't even watch the weather channel this morning. I left school it was pouring hard rain. Now at this time I regret not listening to my granny, ALOT! By the time I get home I soaked and wet with my jeans and sneakers all wet. My coat was icy cold and wet, and thank God my backpack was waterproof. I regretted this because I was sick for the past two months from a bad flu and slyness infection, which I’m trying to get over with. Ever since I got home I've been sneezing a few times, which shows the effect of the rain on me. But I guess this what happens when we don't follow good advises that won't hurt us.
I agree with Gerald. I think that flattery is a word used for manipulation but the good or bad. It is a way to get what is or who is wanted for the person or people’s own benefits. It describes the "sugar coating" to be in advantage of something. Some people use it for praise, attention, to hide the truth of something and more. But in flattery not everyone always wins depending on the different situations. (section E)
A time when I was unable to heed the voice of others ended up with me having to pay. I had been told that I should not go to the park while my mother was not present. I decided that she didn’t have to be there for me to go to the park I could manipulate the mind of my grandmother since she had just come from Jamaica to visit. I was about 8 years old at the time. So I got my grandmother to take me to the park which was literally right next top were I used to live and as I got there I escaped from my grandmothers view. There was this part of the park that I would always go to and run down until I got to the slide. Little did I now that the middle section of this part was no longer there. So I ran on it not thinking that I would have to look and fell in the gap. I got many cuts and was scared for at the time I wasn’t tall enough and didn’t have enough strength to climb out. These older kids ended up having to get me out. If I had listened right now I wouldn’t have so many scars on my legs and arms. Standing by your wishes in my opinion can be both positive and negative, but as you can see in this scenario it wasn’t.
I agree with Josie when she said that now she takes what people say into consideration. She’s also right when she said that people feel as though they’re right when things are going they’re way. I thought everything was going well as I took the walk to the slide but as I was falling and I waited for help to come in the dark pit I understood that the decision I had made was foolish.
A time when I didn't take advice from someone was about three years ago when my mom told me to stop being friends with one girl who would always get me into trouble. I would always defend the girl though because she was my "best friend". It was a situation which was difficult for me because my mom kept telling me that she was a bad influence for me and I still wouldn't listen. I kept hanging out with her until she got me involved with gang members. It was too late for me to get out of it and I was so regretful at that moment. I felt horrible because I had ignored my own mother and I got involved with people that could get me killed. Since I realized my mistake, I did go to my mother and we fixed the problem but that was a situation in which I ignored the advice that my mother gave me.
I realized that if I had followed my mother's advice, I wouldn't have gotten into so much trouble. The police even got involved which was something that I absolutely regret because I made my mom suffer a lot because of me. I regret so much making my mom go through stress because I feel like no child, unless you don't love your parents, would like to make their parents suffer for something as stupid as to choose their friends over their family. Situations like that are hard and I really wouldn't like to be in one like that anymore. And I agree with Nicky because somehow, our mothers always know when our friends are good influences for us or not. I don't know what it is about them but they just know it and in this case, my mom was so right and I will always regret not having listened to her.
Section B
Flattering a person is when you give them compliments about something they did or what they are wearing etc. Also flattering can be presented in sarcasm, so it makes you feel good about yourself until the end of the day when you read between the lines. Most of the times it can make a person feel good about themselves and more confident. Other times it can make a person feel out of place.
I went to my middle school in the middle of sixth grade and as soon as i was introduced to the class, a group of people surrounded me and gave me all kinds of compliments on like my bag, my shoes and things like that. I wasn't used to a lot of people at once at that time, and their flattery made me feel uncomfortable. I've noticed that a lot of best friends talk to eachother sarcastically and flatter eachother sarcastically, which is what my friends did all the time in fifth grade, so that's why I didn't feel good when they were complimenting me in sixth grade.
I know that my classmates were just trying to help me get used to being in my new school, but it just wasn't what I was used to, so it didn't work for me. For me, flattery was a negative thing back then, it kind of reminded me of "Mean Girls," when the mean girl complimented everyone and then turned around and said that it was the worst thing ever.
Section E
I agree with Dheandra about how having good and bad intentions with flattery. Section: E
I agree with ms.G flatering is used so people can get what they want. If you know that your mom probaly will not drive you somewhere. You make them feel better by flattering them so that they will do what you want. This will also give you more confidence in what you are trying to get. Also puts the other person in a good mood so you are more likely going to get what you want.
An example is if you want your mom to buy you something in the store. You will be like mom you look really nice today. Then five minutes later o will you buy me this new shirt.
I disagree with leah i odnt think people you flattery to cover up there mistakes. they use flattery to get something for them selves.
I am going to have to disagree with Danny's opinion on flattery because even though I can understand where this point of view is coming from not everyone is like that. I know you are probably like well how do you know, but trust me I do. I believe that flattering someone and complimenting someone are very similar in a way. When someone flatters one they usually tell them that they are very pretty or they look nice and in saying this nice things and makes a person feel warm and good about themselves. For example when one of my friends or aquitances flatters me I feel really good and compliment her/him back in doing that does not mean that I am "buttering her/him up" so i can recieve something in return. One positive thing about flattering is if you do it you feel good and so does the other person. A negative thing is that sometimes people make take it the wrong way and question your compliment. Other then that it is great. I think people use flattering under the topic of complimenting to get what you want but, I believe that it is nothing like that and that flattering and using someone should be in different catergories. SECTION:E
Flattery deals with the emotional side of every person. if you make them feel good about themselves they usually feel good about you too. every person has an emotional side to them and if you can tap into that as a genuine human being then you can get almost anything. but there are those other people who use flattery for alterior motives. when people flatter you and they are doing it in a decitful way the person they are doing it too ends up getting hurt.
when i first read this the first thing that came to mind was relationships and love. most people use flattery as a way to get into someones heart and to make them feel something more for them than the reagular emotions. i can think of times very recently when flattey has gotten me into trouble. when you give compliments to somone and you are constantly doing it people expect it to alwasy be there and then when it isnt they feel as though they have been forgotten. i was being complimented all the time by people and it made me feel as though it was real but come to find out it was all lies used to cover up something deeper. it hurt and i felt betrayed. i didnt know what to do. i would of done anything for this person and not of ahd a problem doing it and they used that against me. flattering people can be used to hurt them and to get inside their trust but when it is fake all is lost.
dont lie when you compliment someone tell teh truth if you cant find compliments to give someone then they arent worth the lies. it hurts just as much to be insulted as it does to be lied to.
Section: B
A time when I was flattered by a group of people was on my birthday. I was told that my hair looked nice and my outfit was cute. Some people that I really did not talk to told me my outfit or just my sneakers alone were cute. I felt that it was only to be nice to me since it was my birthday and that some people are respectful. If it was a regular day then I am pretty sure nice things would not have been said by people I dont usually talk to. Flattery in my situation made me think about how people are.
I agree with Dheandra and Vanessa when they said that flattery can cause people to feel good about themselves. I believe that people can do it out the kindess of their hearts but others can do it just to do it. Unfortunately people may do it just because one person siad it , and they can not mean it. I also agree with Soroche when he gave his example and said flattery motivated him. Depending on what kind of flattery it is, there is a chance you can get motivated because something someone says can really help you later on in life. Alexia makes a point on basically saying how people may flatter someone based on jealousy. That person can tell you they like something of yours that they want and then turn around and start talking about you or the item in a bad way just because they want it.
I have to agree with Janise and Danny. In my opinion, flattery is basically just saying something "nice" to someone so you can persuade them to give you something for that compliment. I mean it can be a good compliment but the person that is flattering you might not be serious. So why lie to someone when you should tell them the truth? I mean honestly nothing hurts more than lies if you think about it.
I remember when I was in middle school, I wasn't really the brightest person or the one to realize who my true friends were. My "friends" would say the most randomest things to me about my looks, personality and anything to make me happy. But they would talk about me behind my back when I'm not around to make others hate me for some reason. They assume that I have no clue but I actually do and I got really upset. Then I found out that they were being all nice to me because they wanted to copy my homework and use me for other personal reasons that I'm not going to mention here, but it wasn't something that true friends would do. Flattery is a negative thing hands down. You shouldn't do that to anyone for any reason at all, because anyone could get hurt from it.
Section E
I always ignore the advice of others. I like to do things my own way. A specific time when I ignored the advice of others to do something my own way is when my older sister was trying to show me how I should set up my project for school. I did not want to listen to her so I did it how I wanted to. I ended up not having enough space to put additional information on. I should have done it her way because if I would have I would've had more space on my board to fit more information. I was being kind of stubborn and didn't care what anyone else said. In the end, I'm the one who feels stupid because my project isn't what it should be.
Standing by your own wishes can be either positive or negative depending on the situation. It can be positive because your standing strong and not changing your decision but it could also be negative because occasionally you need to admit you are wrong and move on. In my situation, I didn't want to admit that her way would have been more effective than my way because I didn't want to be wrong. I just tried to cover it up.
I agree with both Leah and Kristian. Sometimes people do use flattery to cover up their mistakes and other times they just want to get something out it. I think it depends on the person and their intentions.
i agree with ms g and kristian because flattery can get you anywhere but usually when you flatter someone the classic response is always "what do you want???". however, when done correctly flattery can be a very effective tactic in obtaing something you want from someone. for instance if you wat some extra money to go out with your friends or something you will butter up to your parents, your brother, or whoever close to you who has money. this usually involves excessive compliments to that person and is unsuccesful most of the time. after attempting to flatter someone the next time you try to compliment that person they wont take you seriously or will act unsurely towards you.
when someone seriously ticks me off they usually come back with a sappy appology. alot of times i show simpathy and forgive them. they would say how they were wrong and how i was right and they suck up to me. they think they are being slick but i can always see through their seemingly clever plot. this may just be because im a pushover or a good person, or it could mean that i begin to feel bad.
So in the end it seems that sometimes flattery will work and other times it wont. the latter result is usually the more common in my attempts of flattery but its always worth the shot.
I don't agree with Candice Chan because flattery isn't always used to get things. It may help later on but I think people use flattery to feel good about themselves and sometime making others feel good can make themselves feel good.
In my experiences with Flattery, people usually flatter you when they just did something mean to you and want to make it up to you because they feel bad about what they themselves did. Lot of my friends do that when they do something bad and I do it a lot as well but rarely do I see people use flattery to take or get things from other people.
Section E
I feel that flattery can bee one of three things. One, flattery can be used to cover up something, like Leah and Ms. G said. Another use could be to get you on somebody's side, they could compliment you so as to make them like you so that they would feel obligated to do something for you. Or they could just be glad for you and just complimenting to make you feel better.
Once, I was with a group of friends and we were having a good time and we were going to go to one of the guys house, but one of the guys didn't finish his homework. So all of the other guys kept saying that he was a great student and that he could get his homework done in no time and that he should just come with us. So finally he came and everyone went over to another guys house. This was an example of how flattery can be used to persuade. People can be made to think that they are better than they are and this can be a way of deceit.
Flattery is a very touchy thing even without it knowing. You can use it for good, not so good and just ok, all depending on your purpose. Just watch out for those trying to sway you with good comments.
Section: B
Flattery is something that people use to get their way, or maybe they're just being nice about it. It's hard to tell sometimes, so a lot of the time I think that people are just using flattery to get something in return; or maybe they are just saying they like your shirt, and the second you walk away, they're going to talk about you and tell everyone how they thought it was so ugly. For me, with certian people, I question nice flattery because I don't trust them. Maybe flattery has to do with trust in a way. I agree with Leah B. completely because the situations she mentioned with the jacket, and because they feel bad. This is really true in my eyes because of different situations that I have been in.
Flattery can make people feel good about themseleves though, even if it was a lie that someone just told you. This makes me think of the saying " if you don't have anything nice to say don't say anything at all," because it's true- if you're going to say something it might as well be nice and maybe people that are lying about their complients keep this in their head too. I'm not really sure why someone would say something in a form of flattery if they didn't think it was actually true.
Section B
Flattery is one of those things that normally don't work on everyone. I think it would have a larger effect on those who don't realize what is happening, or people who refuse to realize what is happening such as people who are Vain.
The act of flattering itself is strange. It may seem like just an innocent compliment/ innocent compliments, but there is always a deeper purpose, normally for personal gain. People normally try flattery before asking for something/ asking for a favor. An example would be like Ms. Gentile said, a student being nice to her because he/she is failing her class. They are hoping to get some sort of special treatment/extra credit by being nice, because its probably a last resort.
I agree with Leah on how people use flattery to be nice to others. Flattery can be viewed in both a positive and negative way. In some cases, people use it to make them seem like the nicer person by complimenting others. Flattery does not necessarily mean that they will back talk about that person afterward. It might be used to make the person feel more secure about themselves and make the person feel like they had accomplished something. But it can also lead to the negative effects toward others. Like what Candice had said, flattery can be viewed in a sarcastic way. Even though those nice things are coming out of their mouths, they are joking around and possibly talking behind your back. Along with this, is what Ms. Gentile had stated. Flattery is like taking a shortcut. It’s used to get out of things and to give a good impression. They believe that when they use flattery they would be rewarded for being "nice".
When I was in first grade, I had a haircut and the hairdresser apparently didn’t cut my bangs straight. Some of my cousins would smirk and complimented it. I didn’t realize how bad it was until I looked in the mirror. I know that they were trying to be nice and not say anything that could hurt me. But I would have respected it more if they had told me the truth. Eventually one of my cousin came up to me and told me exactly what she had thought. Her forward answer had allowed me to see the truth and find a way to fix it, instead of carrying on with the bad haircut.
I forgot to type
section B
I think the reason why people use flattery to get what they want, but I also think people use to make other people feel good about themselves. A time when I was flattered by someone was back in fifth grade. I remember these group of girls who I never spoke to, and I wasn't their friend because they were the type who talked trash about people behind their backs, including me. And I remembered one time when I brought a medium size bag of chips for lunch, and they came to sit next to me, and started talking to me and trying to compliment me. But i knew they only wanted my chips because why else would they start talking to me randomly. So at that moment while they were complimenting me I just kept eating my chips, and when they finally asked for some I didn't have any left. So in the end I got nice compliments, and they didn't get any chips. But there are times when flattery can be a good thing, for example if you just presented a project and you thought you did wrong, but your friends compliment you and tell you that you did good. At that moment you feel that you didn't do bad and that your time working on it was worth while. So I agree with Ms. G because when flattery is used negatively towards a person, that person already knows what you are trying to do, so your flattery is obviously not working, but when it is used positively you can make a person feel better about themselves.
Mikerlyne Castor
Section:E
I agree with most of the students that say that flattery is a way to make you feel better and also can get you motivated. Both of my situations are similar to Rashinda and Saroche’s stories. I am always flattered by people during special occasions such as weddings or parties that I attend to, and also when my parents are proud of me because I got honor roll. I agree that people use this technique to help make you feel better about yourself, and that it is motivating because it will keep pushing you to do better so that next time you will continue to be flattered by people, and you will feel good about yourself.
There are also times when you are flattered by people and it doesn’t make you feel good about yourself, but it isn’t that person’s fault but that was their only choice at the moment. Maybe it’s just like a good comment was said to you at a bad time. It’s kind of difficult for me to explain. For example, if you were wearing a dress and you spilled something on it and you were stressed out. Then someone sees you and says that you look pretty and that it looks good, but you can see that their kind of lying only to help you feel better, and also the fact that they noticed it and said a comment about it also makes you feel a bit bad. I’m not sure if this an example of flattery, but that’s how I can think of it in a negative way.
I agree with Candice. I think that people use flattery for their own personal gain. People would say anything so that they can get what they want. Although, i do think that flattery can be positive in some ways. Like if a friend flattered you by just simply complimenting on the way you look that day. I know my friends always tell me if my hair or how my clothes looks good on certain days and I would do the same for them. However, when people use flattery in a negative way, they aren't your true friends. They are just saying anything for their own personal gain.
I don't remember a certain incident where people had used flattery as a negative way towards me because I believe that flattery will get you no where with me, but I know how people can be. In sixth grade I had quite a few friends, but we weren't like the most popular kids. I didn't care about being popular, but most of my friends did. I remember one of my friends often tried to talk to this other popular girl, giving her compliments like all the time, but behind her back she would talk so much trash about the girl. Even though that wasn't directly to me, from that experience I know how people can use flattery for their personal gain. My friend wanted to be popular so badly that she would flatter this popular girl to try to gain popularity. After i found that out, I stopped being her friend because I didn't like those type people and I know that if she was able to become popular, she would stop being my friend. Therefore, I think flattery can be a negative influence.
Section E
I believe that Flattery is a way of using compliments to get what you want.I agree with Ms. Gentile when she says it can get a person nowwhere and everywhere. Buecause flattery has it's negative and positive Affects. As a positive, flattering someone can make you feel good inside. It's like your being seen as a "nice" person like Quyen.When someone is flattering you, you get that extra boost of confidence. And it makes you feel good. The negative aspect of it is that when someone is flattering you, you usually want something out of it or it may seem that way to others. I think that flattering someone now a days makes you look like a suck up, like I'll compliment you and you'll give me your homework. But when people don't have those intentions, it makes them look bad.
I remember when I was in 6th grade and at school I did really well in all my classes. People would tell me "your so smart", And ask me about my grades. They would say this to me and my two ther friends too. At one point I just got tired of it. People would then ask me for my homework and about every single question in class while the teacher was explaining it. I really didn't like that. But I'm not gonna lie and say it didnt make me feel go, at first.
A time when I was flattered was when I was swimming I was told that my strokes were perfect and that I was doing the right thing. It made me feel so good about myself and I did that type of swimming all the time until later I was told that it was not the right way to swim and I felt like I had been taught the wrong way. It was not the wrong way of teaching it was just that the coach was trying to help me succeed by giving me a compliment or flattering me. The circumstances were both good and bad they were good because it made me feel good and helped me like swim more but it was bad because it gave me a false sense of accomplishment and made it harder to learn again when I grew up.
I agree with Kyle because he says that everyone has an emotional side that makes them feel good and if you can tap into that than you can do almost anything. But I also want to say that it can be used for many different reasons like Gerald said. You can use it for bad and for good and in my situation it was used for good and a bad result came of it. I feel that flattery needs to be used only when you are truly giving someone an achievement on something that they are doing. But people also use it to manipulate people which I know for a fact I have done before. I have told people that they do well in something to get something from them. It is not a good thing and will probably give them a false sense of accomplishment but I still do it. That is how I feel about flattery.
Timothy Connolly
Sec E
Section E
I agree with Josie when said "its good to be open minded under any circumstances because you never know what could happen." because we really can't predict what's going to happen upon us. There was a time that I was walking with a friend down the street after the school orientation. My parents always tell me that it can be dangerous to walk in that specific area, bacause they had heard of many crimes broke out there, such as robbing. But I never listen to them. I think that the route is the fastest to the T-station and my mind just think about the shortcut. On that day, we were taking the same route as usual, on the midway, my friend told me that there are two boys following us and tole mee to run as fast as I can. At first, I though she was kidding but I run slowly. At that time, I realized that those two boys were running too, they caght us and told us to give our money, celphones, and ipods to them. I was too scared to respond. My friend just grabbed me and run run run, finally we reached the subway station. When we were finally settled down, I though what if they had knives and what if they caght us on the back??? I couldn't think other thing else but the importance of lifes. Sometimes, no, all the times, a wrong decision can cost your life.
Section E
A time I ignored advice is when my bike was stolen, so I rode my Dad's old bike, the brake line snapped loose and was hanging, I never bothered to cut it. My mom told me not to ride it around, and that I should just take the bus instead. But I didn't want to use my money for that. So I rode my bike regardless, it was fine, I would just wrap it around the handlebars usually. But the last time I used that bike, is when the line got caught in the spokes, launched me forward, and I broke my wrist. The bike also landed on me to make it worse.
If I had followed my moms advice and not ridden the bike, my wrist would never have been broken, and I would be able to turn it still. However since I didn't pay attention to her advice, I broke my arm and permanently damaged the muscle structure. I was able to save myself about 100 bucks from not taking the bus..but it wasn't worth the six weeks I had to wear a cast, not to mention how hard it was to scratch an itch. I agree with Stephanie, with the Parents warning you at least. A lot of us hate to be proven wrong, especially by our parents. I wasn't too happy about braking my wrist, but my parents were also right. Being proven wrong isn't something most people would prefer to happen to them. Some consequences can be worse than others. The worst part about my experience is that I still rode a bike...with my cast on. It was a friends bike, and it wasn't broken, so I thought what the heck. Nothing happened from there, but it's hard to ride a bike when you can't turn your wrist. I would say at least pay some attention to any advice you might get, it might save you a lot of trouble in the long run.
Ying Ying Kuang
Section B
I agree with Dheandra when she says that flattery can make people feel good. But flattery not only making other feel good, we also feel good about ourselves when flatter others. I think flattery could have both positive and negative effects not only on the person who are being flattered, but also on the person who is flattering others. When we flatter others, we actually giving compliment to make others feel good about themselves or the situation they were in. However, it is doubtful that whether this compliment is true or not. The negative effects of flattery are when the person actually found out the truths, that the compliment is actually a lie, that person may actually feel worse.
I remember a time when I want to buy a handbag, and I asked my friend whether I should buy it, and she said it looks very nice, so I actually brought it. But when I actually use it, everyone else said is not that pretty, and I feel very embarrassed because I actually thought it is pretty, because I actually trust my friend, because I really think she is my best friend.
Flattery can have both positive and negative effects; the negative effects can be very bad. For example, a person can start not believing others and not taking others' advises because of what they experienced. A false compliment can make a person feel really bad instead of making them feel better. I also agree with Ms.G when she said when flattery is genuine, it can actually make a person feel good about themselves and every wins in the end. But when flattery is fake, it can make everyone feel bad, and everyone end up losing at the end.
I agree with Phil as he said “I would say at least pay some attention to any advice you might get, it might save you a lot of trouble in the long run”. Following the right advices from people is one of the best ways to avoid those troubles.
I recalled a time in my life when I was having a huge dinner with my family and friends to celebrate a cousin. When everyone was locating themselves to their seats, I, myself in the end had to choose between the adult table or sit with my cousins. My cousin begged me to sit with her but I then chose to sit with the adults because everyone including me thought it was cool to sit with the adults. The bad thing was the table was full of smokers. I tried to go back to the other table, but my cousin told her friend to sit on my chair. in the end, I had to sit with the adults in the end second-hand smoking for about 30 seconds of the time with the adults which can still be life threatening. Luckily they stopped smoking but I was still scarred with my consequence.
Following advices especially when someone is emphasizing their advice to the noticeable point is really important because it can save your life, time, etc. if I was with my cousins, I could be having fun and enjoying the time with them.
Section: E
Pullum
Section B
I was flattered many times in my life but only one stood out to the point of memory. It was back when I played football and I made multiple sacks in one game. This made me feel like I was on top of the world, like there was no one above me or greater than me. The reason the cheers and complements made me feel so great was before the game I had butterflies to the extreme looking at how big the person across from me was but soon all of those thoughts were out the window. Just like Tim, everyone complemented me on my great and amazing performance but as the game went on the kid across from me started crying.
Me being the person I am stopped hurting him which I kind of regret in a sense because everyone despised me of doing. Therefore, I stopped receiving complements after that break in action with the kid on the other side of but I did not stop sacking the quarterback, which was what I was really known for that day. After the game, the other team’s coach called me over and tried to recruit me but I turned him down because I loved all the respect I was gaining while facing his team.
Jiamin Huang
Section B
Flattery is sweet,yet it always makes me think so hard.Why? Well, I do like it when people comment about how good that particular something I do/ have. Yet, it leads me to think whether they are being sincere. Because, each day you will see A LOT of people going around saying. "Oh your shirt is so cute!" or "Omg, you're so smart!" Are they being truthful? Or are they just doing it for the sake of doing it. I mean most relationships out there are just built based on flattery alone. Like Yingying and some other people have mention, your friends maybe saying the nicest thing to you,yet the spoken words might absolutely oppose their thoughts or from the truth. And when you don't comment about their "goodness", it might lead to the other person to think you're rude and a bad friend. So, the question, "Is that all we have between each other?" always pops up. But to be honest, who does not want to have some sweet talks at times. It's a way to "relax" and feel confident. Flattery also helps you to cast a good image of yourself to the public and perhaps leak ways into some benefits. Because people prefer lies over truths, even though everyone always say they want the "real-talks"
For most of the time,others flatters me so they can get something out of it. For example, "Friend A" of mine sometimes randomly comes up to me in class and being really nice. "Friend A" will say stuff like "yea yea yea, I agree with you." and "omg, that's right!" Then after a time of agreeing with me on everything, "Friend A" will ask me to do something for her. "Friend A" thinks that I am obliged to do such a thing, since she has been "so nice" to me. At the end, I did that particular thing for "Friend A." However, I had already knew her intentions at the beginning. Since, "Friend A" randomly comes up and being so kind all at once.
To me though, if you want me to do things for you. I prefer you to ask it right to the point. I don't like it when people try to be something they are not, so they hope to profit from it. In my situation, just ask me straight up, if I want to do it, sure. But at he end I just want a simple 'thank you' to me that's more meaningful than flattery.And I am totally disagreeing with what Soroche have to say about "When you praise others you also feel better about yourself inside. This means your not only being a good person but acting like a true friend." I don't think flattery makes you feel better about yourself. In my opinion, it is actually the opposite because you either sweet talk another to gain or you sweet talk them because you're jealous of them. And for most cases, flattery does not indicate a true/good friends. Flattering can be positive when you try to say good things to boost up someone's confident. Yet, it's a terrible thing when you try to use this factor as a shortcut to gain something out of it.
I strongly agree with Stephanie and Phillip—parents ALWAYS end up being right! It’s common sense because our parents know so much more than us; they have probably gone through similar situations when they were younger. People just naturally don’t like to be proven wrong. They’d rather face the consequences than to simply listen to someone. My experience is very similar to Phillip’s; I never listen to my mom. I know that my mother is always right 99.99% of the time, but I still never listen to her (stubborn much?). I guess I just love taking risks, hoping one day I can finally say to her “TOLD YOU I WAS RIGHT!”
It all started when I wanted to join Tae Kwon Do (TKD). My mom told me not to join because she said it’s dangerous and I might get hurt. One day during sparring class, I had to go against this GINORMOUS girl! At first my jaw just dropped because she was seriously three times my size, but then I thought it was going to be a piece of cake because she was only a white belt (beginner’s belt) and I was a green belt (average level). Right when I tried laying a flying side kick on her stomach, it technically bounced me back and had no effect on her AT ALL. Instead of hurting her, I got hurt in return—I twisted my ankle and couldn’t walk for about two weeks.
If I were to listen to my mother, I wouldn’t have hurt my ankle. This doesn’t explain everything because there is always a risk of getting hurt while doing extracurricular activities. In my opinion, I think standing by my own wishes is mostly positive. If I didn’t take the risk to object my mother then I wouldn’t have learned TKD.
woops. Section E =)
Well Josie's story is more seriously than mine. My story all started when i was like 10 years old. When i was playing my cousin's video game, my mom always told me not to play other people stuff because if you broke it you end up paying for it. i didn't care about what she told me so i ignored her and still played my cousin's video games. i mean how could i resisted if the game was so fun. First time playing the video game was fine and fun then the second time it broke. The video game was loading and it was too long then I decided to unplug to plug, but when put the pug back in, nothing shown on the screen. I was shocked. i couldn't do anything about i have tried to make it work again but it didn't. i said to myself what do I do but there wasn't anything i could do about it. So later on I ended up paying for the caused, i have to save up all my allowances until i have enough to pay. After I have played for the game i thought maybe I should never play the game, I should have touched other people stuff rather than mine. I wish I was listening to my mom's advice because if I was I wouldn't end up paying for the game. Josie's story is more like serious than mine and life threatening but my story is just me trying to pay off my debt. I am still agreeing with her because no words should be against your parents because they have more experience than we kids do.
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